WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
