would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize