Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
