We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
