This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize