why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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