I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
