I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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