bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
