I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
