Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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