just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
