Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
we're so committed to being not committed
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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