I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
