That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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