His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
