Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
