She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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