I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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