should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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