Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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