he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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