I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
