You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize