i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize