I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize