drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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