Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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