2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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