So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
