if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
