Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
