White coat. Heels.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
