better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
