She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
