And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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