I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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