Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
this hospital has no fireball
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
