I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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