I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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