a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
