no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
