apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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