I'm lost and stupid without you.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
