i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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