My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
