Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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