yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
