so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wannas sexs uuuuu
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
nutella sex= disaster
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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