yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
