Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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