East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
