allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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