Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
