there were more penises there than on chat roulette
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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