We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
