Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
