yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
