the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i think i just lost a toe
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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