You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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