But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
