Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She's the barista slut.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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